Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
