So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
