its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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