Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
