normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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