I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
