is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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