so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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