i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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