Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
