Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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