Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
