I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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