just come out here and I will go home with you...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
