I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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