She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
