if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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