3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
