sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
