He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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