she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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