What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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