There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
