We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
