So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My balls are so social today.
Too much gin, very little bucket
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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