he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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