i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
