So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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