see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
