wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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