She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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