She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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