At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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