are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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