I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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