So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
