Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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