this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
