I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
