If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
zippers are such a cool invention
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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