so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
