There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
