Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
