i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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