I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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