I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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