Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
