What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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