Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
