so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
